My daughter, a psych major, told me of a new term “tiger mother”-- the type of mother who simply has a hard
time accepting anything but success from their kids. They hire the best coaches, and have their young play on
the best teams they can afford. In return, they expect and demand success on the part of their kids.
If their kids fail to achieve these standards, then they get at least a verbal (if not physical) whiplash that they
are “letting the family down”, “they are lazy”, “they are not focused or making an effort”. etc.
We certainly have this type of parent in chess as well. A parent asking a coach what is “wrong” with their 6 year
old son who “only” scored 6.5/7 at nationals, in a K-1 section, because he had an “unacceptable” draw, for example.
I wonder, what is the long-term effect of this type of parent in chess?? Does this approach produce more truly
talented players, at perhaps the cost of huge numbers leaving the sport altogether??
Ok, well we have “Tiger Dads” and yes, “Chess for Tigers” as well!!? All kidding aside, good examples of the Polgar Sisters and Gata Kamsky. There are other overzealous parents that have been written about.
All tigers outside of their natural habitats belong in cages. BG should have holding pens, away from the playing hall, for all obnoxious parents. I’d be happy to supervise with a whip if they whine, with pieces of raw antelope meat if they behave.
Anyone who’s been around Little League, youth basketball, or youth chess has run into some strange adult behavior.
It’s great to provide young people with amazing opportunities. It’s not so great to put pressure on young people. When they care, they put pressure enough on themselves (so get them to care, and that’s half the battle).
This is interesting, for so much has been written about Laslo, ie how the girls were lucky that they had an accomplished chess playing father, for example. (Which all three daughters, I believe, have disputed. For
apparently, Laslo at best, was a good writer, or educator at best, certainly no where near a chess pro)
Everyone put such a positive spin on this, pointing out the Polgar sisters and Gata Kamsky. What you will never hear about are the kids that became drug addicts, psychos, murderers, etc, because of these parents who really should have been sterilized ahead of time (am I being too subtle). I strongly suspect that the Polgars and Kamsky are four out of a sample size of say, 10000, where the other 9996 grew up into pretty unhappy individuals, if they made it into adulthood at all, that is.
Furthermore, as the saying goes, people tend to “live lives of quiet desperation”. You will never know what’s going on in Polgar’s head, or Kamsky’s. Whether they wish things turned out different, you may or may never know.
There are all sorts of laws punishing the most mundane and ridiculous things. Ruining a kid’s life goes unpunished, and in some circles, praised.