Hi Rob. I prefer that my students display proper etiquette at the board before, during, and after the game. That is how I learned to play. It is not too much to expect other players to do the same.
In the case of the clock button not being pressed during a regular tournament game, my preference is that the opponent be reminded that he failed to press the button. I do it all of the time, but I would not hold people to that standard. If you tell a person 5 times to press his clock, that should be enough. You do not have to disturb your own rhythm by constant reminders, but it does not bother me. In the case of new or novice players, who are not that familiar with the procedures and practices of tournaments, I think it is better to keep reminding them as necessary as they are just learning to play tournament chess. Unfortunately, failure to press the button might mess up move counters and increment time.
If I arrive at a board and the pieces and clock are already set up, I do not assert my right as the player of the Black pieces to use my own equipment. To do so would only disturb the other players and annoy the opponent. Most sets are acceptable. If the clock is not a good one, I will say that we should use my DGT NA. Usually, I ,am the one who arrives first and sets up my pieces and clock. On occasion, a player has demanded to use his own pieces/board/clock and cited his rights under the Rulebook. That was his first mistake.
In the case of a beautiful chess set, as long as it is within the piece height/size parameters, I will be happy to play on such a set. I will be careful with the pieces. Have played with a number of such expensive, gorgeous sets; I considered it an honor to the player and to the game of chess. I am mindful of how much chess means to some people and I see no reason not to respect that. Playing chess with a master on a fine chess set is important to them.
When my opponent requests to see my score sheet on his own time, I will lend it to him. He may have some difficulty reading my half algebraic/half descriptive writing. If I see he is fumbling his writing of the moves, I will help him out to see to it that he has a complete score. This happens to novices and experience players alike.
On “touch move” situations, I know the difference between an intentional and unintentional touching of the pieces. If a player bumps a piece or nips it with a shirt cuff, it is no big deal. I do know players who will make a scene when an accidental touching occurs. Most TDs cut them off at the pass and deny their claim immediately. They know the player is only making a claim to rattle the opponent. If a player frequently adjusts pieces on my time, however, I may see the tournament director to have him explain the proper procedure.
Rob, a gentleman or lady in chess does not cause problems. They will, however, note to the TD and the opponent that they have rights as well and expectations that each player will be treated with respect. If the gentleman takes off his watch and ring and puts them in his pocket, my experience is that a melee is about to ensue.